and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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