rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
