bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
