Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
its liver damage thursday
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