somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
