In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
