I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
