I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
