I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
