He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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