i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
my nose is crying tears of wow.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
