I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
