Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
