sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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