Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
