After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
