Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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