Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
