You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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