Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
