Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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