we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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