my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
