is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
