I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
