Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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