did you get engaged???
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
