Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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