6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
