I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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