We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
