Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
