btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
