I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
