I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
