Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
