he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
