"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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