is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
