I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
