Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
