We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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