We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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