it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Two words: nipple clamps
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