This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
