Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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