32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
