Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
