I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
that may or may not have been my penis.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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