dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
