Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
