i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
