their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
