think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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