butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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