My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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